Still in DC

So, the kidney stone is passing and I got the stent taken out today. Being here waiting in DC has been very tough. I've been too uncomfortable until today to walk around much or be far from a bathroom because of the stent. Because I've been here, two of my projects (the stoves and the scholarships) will have to be put on hold because I will miss the grant deadlines and I've been feeling a little helpless. Luckily I've had the support of all my friends and family and a couple friends here in DC have gone out of their way to see me and keep me entertained.

Yesterday Peace Corps decided they did not want me to return to the DR because I had a kidney stone before and they didn't want me to have another one in the year I have left. My case worker and I got a plan together to fight their decision and we have won on two conditions. First, I go back in on Tuesday (a week from today) to do a scan to see if I have any more stones. If I am stone free, I can go back. If not, I'm out. Second, if I have a stone within the next year, I am automatically out. So, it's great news to know that I should be going back (it's very unlikely I'll have a stone present in this scan on Tuesday). It stinks that I have to wait until Tuesday and that I've been here as long as I have, but, at least things are proceeding.

Being here has shown me a couple things. First, I miss the DR terribly. I already knew I loved my job and belonged there, but this just reiterates it. I decided that even if I was kicked out, I would still return on my own accord and money. I need to finish my work, it's what I was meant to do with this part of my life. It shows me even more that I have found what will fulfill me in my life and that is a great feeling. I also have realized that it will be very hard to me to adjust mentally to the American lifestyle upon returning. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the hot water, private cars, food, TV, and all the other luxuries. But, I can't help but feel guilty. I've always felt guilty and the guilt drives me to do the things that I love, but it's different now that I've lived without all those things and realized how easy it was, how simple it would be to give that up to help other people. The ridiculousness of how much we have here is baffling to me. I read an article this morning about how food banks are having to change their strategies because so many middle class people are now having to use them and they want to be discreet and are far more picky when it comes to the type of food they take home. They drive up in their fancy SUVs with their designer purses to pick up food at the food bank because they "have no money." Here's an idea, sell your purse and your car. I was so outraged by the story and how these people were justifying it I almost peed my pants (of course, this was before the stent was removed, so that feeling has become pretty common ;) Everyone knows other people are starving in other countries, but it's different to know it and to live it. I knew PC would change me for life, but I actually think it will drastically effect every decision I make when I get back.

In DC

I am in Washington DC on a medical evacuation for a kidney stone. The problem started last Sunday (as in a week and a half ago) when I got a high fever and went in to get it checked out on Monday. The hospital found a raging UTI (which I had no symptoms for except for the fever) and then a large kidney stone on the right side (also, no symptoms). I waited a couple days and then went back to my site for the doctors to figure out what to do with me. I returned on Monday for another exam where the doctor told me that the lithotripsy and laser were too dangerous because of where the stone was. The doctors in Washington DC (the ones who make the ultimate decision on my health) decided that wasn't good enough and on Wednesday decided to send me to the States to do treatment there. I left Thursday morning and when I landed immediately met with a urologist here. He said the lithotripsy wasn't dangerous and now I have plans to get that procedure done tomorrow afternoon. Then I will have to wait 1-2 weeks to make sure all of the stone comes out before being able to be released to return to the DR.

Throughout all of this I did not want to leave the DR. Getting medically evacuated puts my service at jeapordy. If I cannot resolve the problem in less than 45 days, the PC is required to end my service. Additionally, they may decide that the problem is too dangerous to send me back. If you're hoping or praying for anything, let it be that I will be able to return to my country and continue my work. Because I will be here waiting, two of my major projects will miss the deadline for grants submission and will fall through for at least 4 months. This is a huge blow to my work, progress, and general mental well being.

Additionally, this whole process has shown just how much I will never really be integrated into my community. As much as I pride myself on the solidarity I share within my community, when it comes down to it, I am not one of them. When this came up, I went to the best private hospital in the country, was immediately seen by the best urologist in the country, and ultimately sent to the US the very next day it was decided that should happen. There is not one other person in my community who could even access the first hospital I went to, let alone the urologist or the trip to the US. I understand my well-being is important for my work, but being a part of the community is the only way I can get work done. So, it is almost as important as me being healthy.

I am glad that I came to the US because I do not need to have invasive surgery here like was recommended in the DR. However, I feel alone (I have great family and friends support, don't get me wrong, but Washington is not my home) and disconnected from the community I've worked so hard to become connected to. My projects are going to suffer greatly and I only hope that this situation does not highlight to my community that when it boils down to it, I will always be the rich American with priveleges they will never have.

In the meantime, if you want to call me, I am staying at the Virginian Hotel, 703-522-9600